[SGVLUG] Chuck Norris Vs. Linus Torvalds

Solomon K. Chang skevin521 at yahoo.com
Wed Nov 21 14:16:52 PST 2007


Sorry to resurrect this thread, but it just occurred to me that Linus can have his
operating system co-opted away from him by Chuck.  This new operating system will be
christened, Norrix.  For tough, bullet-proof security, there is no better choice.

Norrix is Free, as in Democracy.
SysAdmins don't kill processes.  Norrix kills processes.
In fact, you don't need to issue "kill -9" on Norrix.  It just happens.
There is no sleep mode for Norrix.
Norrix can divide by zero.
Norrix doesn't contact an NTP server, it DECIDES what time it is.
Norrix coredumps contain encoded protein sequences for curing cancer... unfortunately,
Norrix has never crashed.
There are no competing operating systems, just operating systems Norrix allows to
exist.
You can perform three actions to icons in the Norrix GUI: click, double-click, and
roundhouse-click.
Norrix knows the exact location of Carmen San Diego.
Norrix only comes with a choice of two databases: Norrgres and and ChuckSQL.
Norrix cannot be used as a server - Norrix serves NO ONE.
Norrix includes a Firefox plugin: the Kung Foo Bar.
Norrix comes with drivers for every piece of hardware that exists, ever existed, or
ever will exist.
Roundhouse kicks are executed by the "boot" partition.
The Norrix Filesystem ("NORF") cannot be fragmented.
Norrix has had a complete source build of Duke Nukem Forever since last year.


So why haven't we heard of this incredibly stable OS?  Because there can only be ONE
installation of Norrix!

Solomon Chang

(If you come up with any additional Norrix facts, go ahead and add them, but it'd be
nice to attribute me for the ones I have here.)


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