[SGVLUG] Fw: [OT] more on the aftermath of the big X-wing [humor]

[Tom Emerson]

It seems popular science finally got around to posting their video of Andy's X-wing project [which caused it to pop back up on slashdot I hear...] and prompted the following "investigative reporter" type writeup -- thought a few folks around here might enjoy it

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Wedge Oldham <wedge at westworld.com>


After viewing the video at
http://www.popsci.com/popsci/how20/90695f8e285a6110vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html

Then you can see what really happened
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgF9hBL-CuA

We've all heard the "official" story of the destruction of the Death
 Star. 
However, recent evidence indicates we may not be getting the whole
 story. 
This article presents several uncomfortable questions that throw the 
official theory into doubt, and point to the possibility that the 
destruction of the Death Star may have been an inside job.

Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as
 I 
watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed.
 And the 
more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I
 
went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding
 this 
painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would
 like 
answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to 
prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of
 their 
most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was
 really 
behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No
 matter 
what the answers, we have a problem.

Below is a summary of my book, Uncomfortable Questions: An Analysis of
 the 
Death Star Attack, which presents compelling evidence that we all may
 be the 
victims of a fraud of immense proportions.


1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses
 of a 
battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet
 and 
the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station's large fleet
 of 
TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from
 somebody to 
not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star
 reported 
to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction?
 Why was 
he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in 
Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth 
Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact
 the 
father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally
 pilot a 
lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader
 outside of 
the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently
 able to 
escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial
 
forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the
 
Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in
 the 
middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial
 Navy 
didn't?

6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust
 port, let 
alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his
 
ability to "bullseye womprats" on Tatooine? This shot, according to one
 
pilot, would be "impossible, even for a computer." Yet, according to 
additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned
 off 
his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that
 destroyed 
the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated,
 let 
alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids
 who 
provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none
 other 
than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who
 
destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader's
 son? 
Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi,
 who, 
records indicate, was Darth Vader's teacher many years earlier! Are all
 
these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in
 the 
Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a
 moon? 
No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has
 ever 
been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape
 of the 
last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its
 
surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence
 indicate 
that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what 
destroyed the Death Star? 


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